It is now 5.30am another sleepless night, the pain in both knees and my left hip is incredible, it has been gradually getting worse for the past 2 weeks, when i have a busy day, the pain becomes unbearable.
I know it is osteo arthritis that has spread to my other knee and hip.
It is a good job i moved from the flat i would not have been able to cope with the stairs or getting in and out of bed (not that the bed issue will be much of a problem, i can foresee quite soon having to stay up all night like before).
I need to look for a job, but i am so worried that i won't be able to cope, i need a job for money and company. Otherwise i will be bored and lonely. What am i to do?
I get little sympathy at home, i don't even get asked how i am, can i help you etc, just common sympathy and courtesy.
I was really looking forward to starting Art and Craft Club today, as Bob is out i would have to walk and don't know if i can make it, but not to go, is letting it beat me which i have been determined not to do, if i let it beat me, it will rule my life then i would be in a downward spiral to complete despair with no way back.
I have seriously considered going to the Doctors (which is rare for me to even think of it), then think what is the point, first they would tell me to lose weight, then most likely prescibe NSAIDS and i could not afford the prescription since i have no income whatsoever now.
The pain is incredible and i just see no way out, it reduced me to tears last night, which is unusual in it self, and i wasn't even given any kind of compassion or sympathy.
I get little sympathy at home, no one to say - how are you, can i help you, or a massage of the painful area, just common sympathy and courtesy.
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