Me Feet

O’ I wish I’d looked after me feet
When they were 16 and still sweet
‘Cos when I was born
I hadn’t a corn
And me toenails were pink and so neat

O’ I wish I hadn’t been vain
And wore what I walked in - with pain
While I was in fashion
Me teeth I was gnashin’
And the red from me cheeks it would drain

As now in my slippers I bide
And try all me defects to hide
I know that me feet
Would have Frankenstein beat
He couldn’t do worse if he tried

So take warning you kids who know all
As down from your platforms you fall
If I’d known me onions
I wouldn’t have bunions
T’aint worth it - just to walk tall.