Declining Responsibility

Oi ‘ad a pair of Gum-Boots, for twenty seven weeks,
But now O’ive had to pack ‘em in, because the buggers leak.
Oi never ripped nor tore ‘em, nor injured them a bit:
The only thing Oi used ‘em for was puddling in the shit.
Oi oughta ‘ad more savvy - There’s chemicals in dung
As rots the rubber off ‘em, Loike smoking rots your lung.
Oi never shoulda soiled ‘em, nor even get ‘em wet:
Oi shoulda worn ‘em ev’nings round the television set,
So now Oi treads the dung-heap, loike Adam, Oi suppose,
Moi new boots in the office-safe the shit between my toes,
The missus has divorsed Oi, The kids have gone away,
But any road Oi’ve saved moi boots, from Chemical decay!